Building a Life That You Don’t Need to Escape From
Isn’t This Why We Got Into Business in the First Place?
“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don't need to escape from.”
― Seth Godin
You’ve probably heard some variation of this quote before, and now that I’m squarely in my forties, I feel like I truly understand it. After celebrating my birthday this month with all of my favorite, low key things, I was deeply happy and couldn’t think of anything I would have done differently. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to take a nice vacation or splurge on something fancy but those aren’t the things that build lasting happiness. And perhaps over a year of living through a pandemic has helped shift things into perspective a bit more. I’ve started to look at this idea from a few different angles…
The Big Picture
Some things are harder to change than others, but your environment and who you spend time with matters. In both your personal and business life it is important to find people who build you up and challenge your thinking. Energy (positive and negative) is contagious, and the more you seek out inspiring people to surround yourself with the better. This can even trickle down into the media you consume—how do you feel after watching the news or an unsolved murder show on Netflix vs. listening to nature sounds or upbeat music while you work?
And then there’s your physical environment. We decided to move across the country from Charleston, SC to Colorado Springs, CO in 2016 for work-from-home opportunities, proximity to nature, lower cost of living, and lots of sunshine. All of those factors have had a positive impact on our stress levels and attitudes. What could you change about your surroundings (possibly long-term) to bring you more happiness or less stress each day?
Get To Know Yourself
The next piece of this is getting to know yourself, your preferences, and how you want to live. Try to visualize your perfect work day, even if it seems unrealistic. See if you can zero in on some of these specifics:
How do you start your day? At the crack of dawn for a run or gently stirring around 9 a.m. and drinking a fresh brewed cup of coffee? What are you wearing? How do you feel—relaxed, energetic, comfortable? Are you a morning person or a night owl?
What does your work space look like? Do you need some natural light to feel good and spark creativity? How about a riser for your laptop so you don’t stoop over all day? Multiple monitors? A really comfortable chair? Beautiful decor and plants that improve the energy in your workspace?
How do you prefer to work? Are you great at time blocking and focusing intently on a specific task for set chunks of time? Do you need the buzz and social environment of a co-working space? Are calls and Zooms draining and better spread out through the week or stacked all in one day?
What boundaries are in place? Are you available only during certain hours? Do you only check or respond to email at certain times? Maybe you don’t give out your phone number or only communicate with clients in your project management software.
What do you value? Are you living and running your business in a way that is aligned what you think is important? Perhaps you want your business to be known for stellar customer service or environmentally friendly products or the type of place that encourages employees to bring their dogs to work. How do you want to show up in the world? How can you help others along the way (mentoring, donating, volunteering, etc.)?
Be honest with yourself about your preferences, how you like to work, and what matters to you. As a small business owner, one huge benefit is that you can structure your day-to-day work flows to support the way you operate best.
Enjoy the Little Things
I bet you have things around your house or inexpensive luxuries that are reserved for special occasions. Why not enjoy them all the time? Or take the 10 minute break to sit in the sunshine on your back patio or walk the dog around the block? I know when things are busy it can feel impossible to squeeze anything else in. I think of it as a happiness tank, and if it’s running low it spills over into my attitude towards work, patience with others, and general feelings of stress and unease. But each of the things listed below is like a small deposit in the tank, raising my vibration and lighting me up inside. Here’s what works for me:
My favorite coffee every morning, that I make in my favorite mug
The chalk board wall I painted in my home office (currently being used for the Chalkboard Method)
Takeout sushi or poke bowls (my favorite)
Regular workouts in our garage or at the YMCA
Going for walks / getting my steps in
Reading good books (sometimes a few at once)
Not fighting my night owl tendencies (and making sleep non-negotiable)
Having cute little string lights that make working in the evenings cheery
Lots of porch time (rocking chair + beverage + dog + sunshine)
Pet beds in the office, so the critters will hang out with me 🐕🐈
Making time for creative projects
Trying new things that sound fun (adult gymnastics class, a writing workshop, anything you might feel too “beginner” at—just try it!)
Setting up jigsaw puzzles (especially in the fall/winter)
Always having my favorite ink pens on hand
A large desktop monitor, on a riser, so it’s at eye level
Regularly buying myself flowers from Trader Joe’s
Having a charging station and headphone set up at my desk
Investing in a comfy office chair
An electric kettle for tea breaks
Hiring help when my workload was too high to manage alone
Listening to uplifting music and podcasts
Staying in touch with friends via text and Marco Polo
Always having a mason jar of water with a metal straw in the fridge
Donating a percentage of our sales to animal rescue each year
Only following social media accounts that bring me joy
I could keep going, but I think you get the idea :). Figuring out what lights you up and creating your life around that is the best way to build a life that you don’t need to escape from. I think we often forget how much autonomy we have in our lives, and how many choices are available to us at any given time (especially the small ones). I’d love to hear what you’re doing to fill up your tank each day—continue the conversation at hello@duewestdesign.com!
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